2:37am

Please don't let the same shit happen. :'(

Thanks

Thanks.
It's really surprise.

I'm really sorry.
I didn't meant to hurt you.

Be tough.
Forget about me,
And start yourself a new better life.
:)

:)

Yea.
I should start myself a new life. ❤

25th of January, 2013

一个多月了，
我以为我已经痊愈。
如果我们还在一起，
今天将会是第二十八个月。


当别人问起时，
我总是嘻嘻哈哈的笑过。
说我没事，
说我很好。
我也以为我很好。


直到听了这首歌，
我才发现，
要放下一个人并没有那么简单。
心还是会揪着痛。
泪还是会往下掉。

我才发现，
没有了一个曾经让我依靠，
曾经跟我一起经历起起落落，
曾经那么爱我，
而我又那么爱他的人，
很空洞。

再也没有人陪我渡过我们的二十五号。

我并不是不要试，
我只是不想要以相同的结局收场。
再次跌得遍体鳞伤。
然后再也爬不起来。

一个人不可能

一个人我在沮丧 
一个人走在路上
泪流下那么荒唐 
分手当初是我在逞强

一个人对谁嚣张 
一个人为谁而忙
我懂了你没反抗 
是因为我不够坚强

只是我一个人
 一个人不可能 
不可能有多快乐我承认

从前是两个人 
两个人多认真 
一年后却像两个陌生人

只是我一个人 
一个人不可能
不可能有多快乐我承认

想回到两个人 
认真的两个人

一个人没有方向 
一个人闷得发慌
谁懂得我的疯狂 
谁会一直在我的身旁

一个人该怎么样 
一个人一个人唱
天冷了你还好吗 
明天是不是会晴朗

只是我一个人 
一个人不可能 不可能有多快乐
我承认

从前是两个人 
两个人多认真
一年后却像两个陌生人

只是我一个人 
一个人不可能 不可能有多快乐
我承认想回到两个人

认真的两个人一个人 
一个人不可能 
不可能有多快乐多温热

再习惯一个人 
一个人再认真 
认真也不能让幸福成真
一个人一个人不可能 
不可能有两个人的灵魂
等待另一个人 
爱的另一个人

:/

It's been awhile since I last update my bloggie.

I'm still here in UUM.
I'll be going back to Penang tomorrow night. :)

I guess my cousin just broke up with his gf.
He's is really down as I can see that.
:(

Love is sick.

Zzzz

It's my last night in Penang.
And,
I can't sleep!!

Swollen eyes,
Sore throat,
Messy mind,
Headache,
Insomnia.

Yea.
All come together.
How great.

Bye bye nice food.

Today's my last day at Penang.
I'm going back to UUM again tomorrow.
For five days. :'(

Went shopping with mom today.
Bought a lots of new clothes and dresses.

And,
I found out,
I'm getting fatter and fatter.
Stomach and laps are getting bigger and bigger.
Chin is getting rounder and rounder.
Shit.

I love food.
But,
I really have to control myself dy.

Bye bye nice food.
We'll meet again on Chinese New Year kie? :'(

For Debra

Hey babe!
Happy birthday! ❤

Too bad we aren't able to make time to meet up this time.
We must make it after 22nd kie?
I miss you really very very much!

Have a blast on your 21st birthday yea my dear.
You're an adult now! Haha.

All the best for your studies and life in Switzerland.
God bless you all the way you go.
And
I love you. ❤

:D

Stupid bro!
Thanks! :D

Home

Finally I'm home!

Too bad I'm home with bad sore throat and swollen eye.

Please,
I need to get well soon and enjoy my holiday.

Good night world. :D

:D

I just came back from the church.

So,
Pastor shared about faith in God today.

Dear Father,
So sorry that I lost my faith in you in the pass two months.

Like what pastor had said,
I should turn to you when I'm facing problems.

I skipped services.
I almost forgot that you're always there.

I've fell last month.
Thanks God for hearing my prayer and make me stand again.

But,
I know I shouldn't have worry so much.

From now on,
I'm not gonna be worry.
Not gonna be emotional.

I know,
You're always there.
Making me the best arrangement.

So,
Yea.
Let's follow the flow.   :)

To Sin Jee ♥

Just finish packing!!
There's really alot of things I have. Haha.

I'm going to the church tomorrow,
So,
I'm going back on the Saturday. :)

Gonna meet my cousin on this Saturday before going back.

Hey boy,
I'm really sad when I know you're crying.
And I cried because you cried. Haha.

You're so tough and I never see you cry since we grow up.
And
I never thought you will cry.

Things gonna be hard for the first week.
My orientation week is sucks too!

After that will fine kie?

I know you find no friend there.
And you have to make yourself into their culture.
But,
what to do? :'(

This is going to be a very big challenge for you.
Take it,
and
Make it awesome!

I know you're reading,
So,
Anything just ring me up kie?
Share with me.
Anytime.  :)
Don't keep everything for yourself.

Jie Jie is here. Haha!
♥ 

Here comes my holiday! ♥

Finally,

I finished all of my paperssssssss!

Yea,

I feel released. 

:D

No more tension,

No more stress.

No more emotional temper lose. 

I'm back!!   ♥♥

Counting down! :D

Just finished my Malaysian Citizenship Studies paper.
Not good at all.
And I knew it since the moment I realized I left my pencil on my desk.

Thanks very much for lending me your pencil. :)

Even though I did a very bad job,
But,
I'm still happy.

There's only,
One more paper to go.
I'm coming home soon!!!
♥

Great day with BFF! ♥

Today is a GREAT day!

It's all began with the early visiting of my family.

After sending my lovely cousin into ILP,

I feel great to be a UUMer. :D

Then,

We dabao Dominos and KFC. :D

So i spent the whole afternoon with ji mui.

Chit-Chatting,

Singing,

and

Manicure!  ♥

The night,

I had dinner with my dearest BFFs.

We had a real great dinner. :D

After that,

I spent two hours at the swimming pool.

Fooling around and memorizing Kenegaraan. Haha.

So,

Now,

I'm back into my room again,

with my roommate in!  ♥

Thanks everyone for making my day so wonderful!

I LOVE YOU ALL!  ♥♥

photo with my tall cousin after he had his hair cut. 

mom says she look old in da pic. mommy, you're still pretty kie? at least the prettiest in my heart!  ♥

a group photo with all my beloved! ♥

lunch with ji muiss!  ♥

manicureeee!  :3

GREAT :D

I got home sick again after the previous post.

So,

I went to my diary just now.

Feeling even worse after writing.

My pretty mom rang me up while I'm writing,

And guess what?

She says she is coming to find me tomorrow!

So,

I'm happy right now!

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA! 

I'll be home soon!

Five more days,

And,

I'll be HOME!!! 

I miss my parents and sister so damn much!

I can't wait to go home and meet my girls.

And,

My cute lil BRO!!

I wanna go sing k!

Moviess!

Shopping!

And,

YingXi and Deb,

I miss pillow talking with you so muchhhh!

Five more days kie??

LOVES!  ♥ 

let's count down. heeheh!
http://gifboom.com/x/a41242a5

...

ARRGHHH!

Nexus 4 or Note 2???

OK,
Study....

It's time to let go :')

I should be studying now.
But,
I really don't have the mood to do so.

I feel like blogging.
But,
I don't know what to blog about.

I left my mind for a lot of nonsense throughout the whole night.
But,
none from my book.

I know if I do not start reading now,
I'll be very panic again on the 8th night.
Yet,
I still can't concentrate.

Yesterday Jeff asked me whether am I going to delete all the photos of us in FB.
I told him I'm not doing so is because I've no time.
I told if I really wanna delete all there'll be a lot for me to delete.
It takes time.

So,
I took a look at our photos again just now.
And I found out most of the album is our albums. LOL.
How can I delete it?
There will be no photos left in my FB then. Haha.
All those sweet memories keep wheeling in.
We were so cute! Haha.

Jyen,
I know you this heartless man is not reading my blog.
But,
Here's some words for you.
It's been quite a while we did not talk.

It's been a month we had been separated.
I still remember those days we went through.
We said,
We gonna walk together hand-in-hand for ups and downs.
I told myself,
I'm not gonna let go of a man like you.
You always give me the best of you.

I know my temper is bad sometimes.
Yet,
You are always so patient.
Even though you fell asleep sometimes.
And this really fed me up!
But,
believe me.
Most of them are not real.
I just like it when you look so nervous and it made me feel that you really care so much. Haha.

I know you are very tired.
Coming from so far just to see me.
But,
You never complain.
Not even once.
Even though I didn't tell,
but deep inside my heart I told myself,
I can feel your love.
And I really appreciate it.

However,
All of these are history now.
You' re not gonna be that man who will walk with me for the rest of my life.
But,
I'm not regret.
At least we had a lot of great memories.
Yea,
That's enough for me.  :')

I guess you're doing great in KL.
I don't know if you miss me,
But,
I really do miss you sometimes.

After this post,
I will try my best to let go of all these feeling.
I've to move on.
Just like you.

I know it's gonna be hard for us.
But,
I still hope that we can at least be friend in the future.

All the best my dear.
God bless you.
:)

Faith

5201314.

It's a very special date.

Before this,
I thought I'm not gonna lost my faith in love.
No matter what happen.

Even though I was hurt before.
I lost my faith.
In that person,
But not love.
Love is the most wonderful feeling created by God.
I'm always looking forward for a eternal love that last really long.

I thought I had found it before I came into UUM.
I thought I found my life partner.
We are so confidence,
We think nothing can separate us,
Including distance.
But,
I realized thing's not as simple as we thought.

I really don't wanna lost my faith in love.
I told myself,
I shouldn't make the judgement referring to one or two person who passed by in my life.
Maybe things work out some  time?
Maybe I should be optimistic as I was.
Yet,
I couldn't find my confidence back like what I had last time.

I sheltered myself.
From being hurt again.
In my subconscious.
And
I realized this after I had a talk with yi jun.
I never know I could change so much because of some one.
Im afraid of getting hurt again.
I'm afraid of losing myself again.

However,
I prayed.
I know God is listening to my prayer.
And I believe something's gonna happen on me.
Yea God.
I'm looking forward for the miracle.
I need courage and confident in me,
To be in love again.

1/3/2013

Mood swing again. :'(

One more day,
Will be exactly one month.
I'm still alive.
Doomsday did not come.
But,
My inner part is dying.

Things happen.
Changed.
I changed.
From the cheerful me,
Into a totally different one.
I got bad mood easily.
I got stressed up easily.

I wonder,
Since when I became so self centered?
I neglected the feeling of my friends.
I really shouldn't do this.
I hate myself for being so selfish.
I wanna find myself back.
But,
How?

This feeling is really not good.
I can't concentrate on everything I do.

My dear Lord,

Please.

Your daughter is in trouble.

Please.

Grab me out from this with your mighty hands.

I need to smile.

I wanna smile.

I need savior.

In Jesus name,

I pray.

Amen.

Hmm...

It's four thirty,
I'm still studying.

My sleeping hours went upside down.
but,
I find myself absorb better during night time.
What to do? :/

First 2013 post with lotsa LOVES. ❤

So it's 2013.
Happy New Year!
2012 was not a very bad year even though i ended up the year with stress and tears.

BUT,
IT'S 2013 NOW!
So,
Take a big bite on Cadbury and I will move on.
I will smile more than the year before.
I promise. :D

Well,
This post is specially dedicated to all of you who are really important to me.
And this is going to be longgggggggg! Lol

First,
Dad and mom and my lovely sister.
Oh yea,
And my lovely Nemo.
I really miss you guys very very much.
I didn't know that you guys actually meant so much to me until I moved myself out from Penang.
Thanks for educated me so properly until I'm able to make myself into a university.
Thanks for being so patient and giving so much love to me for the pass twenty years.
I really miss you guys very much.
Especially when I'm so stress.
I'm coming back home soon.
I miss you all.

Then,
My bestie Debra and Ying Xi.
So we had knew each other for seven years!
Thank you so much for fooling and mixing around with me throughout these years.
Without you guys.
My life will be boring and lifeless.
Ji mui always meant the most to me.
Especially you two.
We were far apart now.
But,
I still love you guys very bery mery much!
Miss me whenever you're free.
And I'll miss you both too.
Definitely.

Yi Lio Jun,
My lovely bro.
You're the cutest bro in the world!
Love you!!!
*Aww...
(pause)
So sweet!*
Hahahahahha.
I felt empty when you're off to china.
Seriously!
I'm really glad when you called me in the midnight and tell me that you're still alive after your operation.
Luckily,
You're still here.
Seems like you already walked out from the pass and live yourself a better life with Chinese, Thai and what else??
Actually I won't mind if you find yourself a new sister.
Because I'll find myself a new brother also if you get yourself one. Haha.
It's a brand new year,
Please grow up.
Stop being so childish if not you'll get punch like how happy feet got.
La la la la la! Boiishhhh!

Then,
My SISTA!
Jefferson Ong!
I seriously can't remember your full name.
Hahahaha.
Thanks for sharing so much with me.
Those ups and downs.
Without you,
There'll be no Skype account for me. Haha.
You're the first one who called me on 2013.
Thanks!
And you're only 20.
Don't live like an uncle please.
Your life are so boringggggggggggg
And gay.

Next,
My ex. Jyen.
Thanks for everything you had done for the pass two years.
Supports, cares, surprises, efforts.
Thanks.
Please be well in KL.
Concentrate on your studies,
Stop being lazy like how you used to be. Hahha.
Be good,
So that you can find yourself a better girl. :)

And jyen's friends!
Fans fan, Isaac Yong jun qiang, Alvin diqiuren, Huai, Joyce, grace, xiwen, yu chuen, LaiJi.
You guys are always so cheerful and crazy until I laugh my lungs out when fooling around with you guys.
Thanks for celebrating my birthday with me for two years.
This is really memorable.
Even though I'm no longer jyen's gf.
But I still love you all very much.
All the guys,
Stop being so desperate.
Especially fans fan. Hahah

My BFF in UUM.
Without you guys,
My life in university will be boring and boring and boring and boring.
Thanks for cheering me up everytime hanging out with you guys.
I really can't imagine how's my university life gonna be without all of you.
Whenever I think of this,
I feel like crying. :'(
You guys meant everything to me when I'm here in UUM!

First,
Thanks to fam fam.
Thanks for helping me so much to get into UUM.
Without you,
I must be somewhere else.
So,
Don't always blue blue for no reason kie?
I love to see you smile.

Bin Bin!
Thanks for everything you've dedicated.
Your surprises always made my day.
And touched me.
I really love hanging around with you.
Thanks for accompanying me whenever I need someone to talk to.
I'm sorry if I neglected your feeling sometimes.
I didn't meant it.
Oh yea,
Don't always cheat on me.
Or else I'll revenge!
Let's be best best best best friend first kie?
Teehee!

Next,
My roommate Chia!
Darling roommate,
I'm really sorry cause you always got abandoned by me.
But,
I'm really glad to have you as my roommate.
I really hope to stay with you until the last sem of my uni life.
I don't know if you feel the same way too,
But I love you!
Maybe you can join us next time.
my BFFs are great!!!

Qing xing!
So you're the really annoying one.
But,
Your annoying-ness did works sometimes to cheer me up.
Hahahha.
Thanks for cheering me always.
And your advices are quite useful sometimes.
But,
You really annoying larh.
When I think of you,
I think of annoying. Hahah.
If you aren't here,
I don't think I'll be such an active member in the church.
Thanks for being annoying. XD

Chia li,
My 13 years old friend.
Be tough, girl.
Just come Muamalat if you really need some where to run away to from your hostel.
Our door gonna opens for you whenever you need it opens.
Hug hug! :D

Phing Mun,
Wo hui xin fu de.
Don't worry.
Heehee.
Stay sweet with Marshall Jun.
Please don't end up like us.
I will help you to keep an eye on him in UUM.
If he kao lui then I'll report to you.
Haha.

Amy and NoiNoi,
I miss you both too.
Very much!
Stay sweet with nam hoong and Matthew.
We really must meet up after my final.
Especially Noi!
Always PPK.
Memang beh ki.
Lol

To all CGCC members,
Thanks for praying for me and giving me advices.
You guys warmed up my heart when i feel like university life is lifeless.
Keep growing in the kingdom of God and share His love to others.
Especially those like the old me.

To those I didn't mention in the post,
It doesn't meant that you're not important to me.
Every single one of you are important to me.
I love all of you!

I guess this is the end.
It took me two hours to finish this post!
This is crazy.
Modern World History sure die dy. Haha.
But,
All of you are much more important to me,
So I DON'T CARE! Haha.
❤