December 2014

Last post was posted on May!

I can't remember since when I've stop blogging, stop writing.

Lots of things happened in half year time.

Some of them are worth celebrating,

But,

Most of them are unhappy.

The reality is ugly.

But I've grow a lot.

I never expect to have such changes on me.

I realize that this world is not as wonderful as I thought.

People are selfish. 

People gang up to show that they are right even thought they're not.

People supporting their friends blindly.

People don't care about other feelings.

People make decision rashly.

I don't know who to trust.

I don't know who shall I share my feeling with. 

I see a world of interests, people are hiding themselves behind their mask.

I wonder since when I've become a person like this.

Who don't trust people.

Who sometimes choose to crack a smile in front of people I don't like.

Sometimes I got confused by myself. 

I guess this is the reason I don't blog nor write.

I rather hide my feelings for myself.

So that people don't look at me ridiculously. 

So that people don't know what I think.

So that people don't take advantages of mine.

I still cry a lot. 

But the difference is I don't cry in front of people anymore. 

Halt!

My life is not that pathetic actually.

I still have some of them who love and care. 

Who scold me when I'm wrong, but support me when I'm down. 

Who motivate me with their loves.

Who I can't live without.

To these important people,

Thanks and I love you.

Please expect the same thing from me. 

My endless support and love.

To those people who are not worth mentioning,

Thank you for giving me free life lessons.

Thank you for showing me the reality of the world.

I guess you've done showing me the ugly side of yours.

So now,

Fuck off.  

Bye. 

World

Finally I had settle everything down and have myself a lil time to blog.

I had gone through a few super hectic months.

Leading up a team is not easy,

Especially when I have to carry all the responsibility upon myself.

This is the second day after we win the competition.

No more excitement seriously.

Cause I know another wave of tension is coming soon.

I will be writing another hectic story.

It's not easy to be champion.

All the hardwork that we had made,

It's uncountable. 

The eyes of the world is on us now,

Enactus UUM is now Enactus Malaysia.

I really gained a lot of things through this journey.

And I finally understand that this is a realistic world.

Where some of them are prioritizing their own fame and benefits too much.

I'm glad that I finally can see them so clearly.

And I guess I had learnt a lesson on choosing the words of people.

女生

今天，

又犯了。

脾气又来了。

可是我真的没有办法。

我一想到她的样子，

火就来了。

然后，

明明是我的男朋友，

却要帮她说话，

然后又摆出一副不屑的样子。

火就滚了。

身为一个女生，

真的要像她那样？

或许女生就是要有女生的样子。

不可以太强悍，

就算你会，

也要装不会。

就算人家拼了命解释，

还是要睁大眼睛，

继续装不会。

别想要让自己忙忙碌碌，

忙忙碌碌在社团里，

结果换来的是一大堆女生不需要有的东西。

应该多花一点时间，

向男朋友撒撒娇，

陪男朋友到处玩。

戴着他送的一大堆戒指项链，

驾着他的车到处跑。

吃他的住他的。

来到班上和班上的女同学说今天他又要带你去哪里，

昨天他又送你什么。

一副幸福样。

整班的同学都认为你们很幸福，

一毕业就可以拉埋天窗。

然后剩下的时间就和别的男生扮扮可怜，

说说自己的男朋友对自己多不好，多糟糕。

然后，

全世界的男生就会认为你很可怜。

想代替你男朋友照顾你。

当一个女生，

在男生面前就是要很娇柔。

然后当你被全世界的女生说你心机很重的时候，

全世界的男生都会认为那些女生有问题。

只有你一个人是没有问题的。

说你心机重的女生，

根本就是不应该。

好啦，

包括我在内。

是我有问题。

我男朋友相信你，

他没有问题。

你更加没有问题。

想家

有多久没有想家的感觉了？

今天想一想才发现，

妈妈打给我的次数也变少了。

整天忙东忙西，

忽略了她。

总是要在心情很糟糕的时候才会想起在家里的他们。

现在的我，

想要就直接睡在他怀里，

尽情地哭。

尽情的发泄。

可是我却没有勇气拿起电话打给她。

我知道我只要听到他们的声音，

肯定会哭得收不了声。

我真的不想让他们再担心。

爸爸妈妈，

我想你们了。

Disappointment

To quit or to stay? 

Seriously,

I've no idea.

I never thought that I'll have to face this dilemma one day.

The disappointments that they gave,

Is way too much.

I'm not sure if I can take this for two more months.

But I have to.

As a leader.