Blessed

Today's mood is like sucks to the max.

I couldn't hold my tears anymore when I see her crying.
So it end up like two of us crying in the class. Lol.

However,
I know I'm blessed.

The heavy rain after the class.
I know.
It's horrible.
My pants and shoes.
Bag and shirts are all wet.
But,
The heavy rain cheered both of us up somehow.
We sang in the rain like nobody's business.
We knew that no one can hear us when the rain is dripping so loud until we cant even hear the voice of each other clearly.

So the rain stopped after we get onto the bus.
Yea. We're trolled. Haha.

Then,
I went to the dance practice.
We had finished both of the songs.
We just gotta start polishing until we can dance on same timing.
And look neat.
I went the one hour earlier.
And start practicing.
Sweating released my stress.
I seriously feel much better after sweating.
And of course,
All of them cheered me up.
They're just way too cute! Haha.

So,
I reached hostel at ten.
After taking the shower.
I straight start singing with xinjing again. Haha.
Yea.
We need to sing!
Sing out real loud to release all the stressssss!
So,
We sang for three hours plus.
Until we're so freaking tired.

Thanks God for blessing me with all these wonderful people around me.
The BFF gang who did the dance practice and dinner with me.
XinJing who sing with me in the rain, cried with me in the class, sing again until the late midnight.
Yi Lio, the most awesome bro in the world.
Ethan Tan who remembers all of my friend's name.
Deb who make me smile for a single text. Babe, cepat balik from Switzerland. I can wait no more!

All of you are AWESOME! ♥

lost

It's a busy month.

Enactus, meetings, programs, assignments, practices.
It's been a month since I last went to gym.
No more jogging, no more workouts.
I'm getting fatter and fatter.
I really hate myself in the mirror. Grrr!

I'm just so gonna drown in the works.
I couldn't recall when is the last time I can sleep like nobody's business.
Every night I've to shocked up from my sleep.
Seriously I don't know what's wrong.

I told myself I shouldn't be emo again.
I don't have the time to.

But,
I couldn't help it anymore when I heard the shocking news.

My dear,
Please have the operation.
I know the risk is high.
But,
This is the only way to survive.
We still need to hang out.
We still need to see both of us marry.
And make our children marry in the future.

Don't be afraid please.
I know you couldn't help it.
I'll pray for you,
And you gonna be OK.
Trust me,  trust the Lord.
He loves you.
So do I.

Lotsa things happened.
I really don't know where am I heading to.
Every next step seems so mystery.
I'm so lost.

There's once,
I thought I had found someone to lean on.
But,
Things always turned the other way round after time.
People keep coming and going.
So does he.
I'm not sure what he wants.
He just come and go whenever he feels like he wants to.

And I realised,
I can only depend on myself.
I need to grow up.
I need to stand by my own.
It's hard.
But,
I have to.

im a troublemaker

I'm back in UUM.
After all the shitty things.

So,
This is the first time I felt that myself is really a troublemaker.
I'm bringing troubles to all those beside me.
Making people worry.

However,
Once again,
It's proven that
My prayers was listened.
Something unexpectedly just happened and to make the situation better.
Even though it's not the best solution.
And it is the most incredible things that could happened.
I never thought this could happen.
God is watching after me.
So,
Wipe the tears.
Keep the prayers on.
I'm gonna be supernatural. *Teehee *

Everything's over now.
Thanks God.

sigh

I'm gonna fly to Bali tomorrow.
But,
I really don't have the mood.
I'm so freaking down.

So,
Sth happened yesterday.
A lorry crashed into my car while reversing.
He said he'll pay for the repairing cost.
And,
The amount had freak him out.
Now,
He's trying to put the blame on me.
He says I stopped my car on his property.
He says the road is his road.
I've to bear the responsibility too.

So,
Now he's just gonna take the 50 percents of the cost.
And we'll take the other half.

Dad and mom are not blaming on me like how I expected.
Their loves make me feel even guiltier.

The way that uncle talks is so harsh.
I know dad and mom are holding back so hard to avoid conflict.

I'm sorry.
They're hiding the anger and disappointment just to let me feel better
They're acting normal so that I won't take the blame so hard.
Daddy and mommy,
I'm really sorry.   :'(

HOME

I feel like blogging the whole day.
But,
I don't have the time.
Until now,
It's eleven sth in the night.
And I'm finally free.

So,
Today is a freaking tiring day.
I woke up at six in the morning,
Out at seven.
Came back at ten.

I followed one of the project outing today,
It's called HOME.
There's two minor projects under it.
Which is mainly for the women and one for the kids.
We are trying to bring some impacts to those people in one of the village in Baling.
All of them are the only orang asli that exist in this world.
Yes.
WORLD.

Let's not talk about the women.
Cause im handling with the kids project today.

Someone told me that the place is gonna be horrible.
And,
Yea.
I was freaked out.
And they said the weather is gonna melt me.
So,
I prayed last night.
And guess what.
The weather is so perfect!
Like,
No hot sun neither rain.
It's not cloudy too.
It's just nice.
Best weather I've had in kedah. Hahah.
Thanks God for the super fine weather! Amen!

Then the kids!
They touched my heart.
Deepest part in my heart.

They're so naive.
They might not look very adorable or clean.
But, trust me.
I hugged them because they're just too cute!

They don't have electronic gadgets.
They're just running around.
Fooling around with other kids.
There're around forty of them.
From the age of three until thirty.
But they just mix around like brothers and sisters.

Six hours or activities,
None of them cries,
None of them disobey kakak's and abang's instructions.
They're too helpful until they're willing the help us in everything.
It's really touch when you see the elders take care of all the youngers like they're their own brothers or sisters.
A simple compliment satisfied them and that make them smile.
It's the smile that gonna cheer you up.
They're so independent.
No parents ever step or come after to look at their children during the activities.
Even the one hour break,
They can just walk back home with all of the friends,
Holding the hands of the youngers.
To have their lunch and shower.
Then,
Come back to the same place in time.
None of their parents shows up.

Believe me,
None of the child in the city will give me this kind of feeling.
They're just too naive and easily satisfied.
We feel very proud of them like they're our brothers and sisters.
And,
The nature of the village had brought us so close.

A rubber ball,
Satisfied the whole village of children.
This village of children,
Gave me the best feeling ever in the worse place I've ever been.

I love 'em. ♥

Homesick!

So it's Monday.
Well,
I'm not facing Monday blue.
Kedah people usually face Sunday blue. Haha.

But,
I'm kinda blue today.
Cause many people are going home!
Damn.

I still have to wait till 9th of April.
So,
I'll be going home when people are enjoying their life in their hometown.
Or,
Maybe people had done enjoying and resting at home.

I miss home.
Seriously.
It's been two weeks I've been here.

Well,
It's not really empty since I've lotsa things for me to busy with.
Yet,
I still miss home.
I miss those food in Penang!

Anyway,
Since I've chose to be an Enactus,
I'm gonna do it best.

No pain,
No gain.

Lets see what am I gonna gain. :)