Change

Went back home yesterday.

There's no place in this world can gimme this kind of warmth.

It's perfect.

This one and a half day is seriously awesome.

Had the birthday celebration.

The conversation on the beach is the best, for me.

At least I understood what he has on his mind.

But it shouldn't happened this way,

And I was like kinda spoilt his mood. 

That guilt is crawling all over me.

I shouldn't had act this way.

Sigh.

I thought I will have a sweetening blog post.

But the timing is not right perhaps?

Not now.

I believe, 

What's yours,

Will be yours.

It doesn't matter how long it takes.

Doesn't matter how many barriers we have to face.

God always has His own perfect plans on us.

But,

What is wheeling in my mind throughout the whole night is killing me.

However,

I still prefer an ugly truth than a beatiful lie.

And I know,

I shouldn't expect people to treat me the same way back.

I know I have to accept it.

This is him.

The real him.

But sometimes I wonder if this is the right way?

I realized I'm care much more than I can handle.

And it turns out bad.

However,

This is all under my expectation when I made the decision.

I know I can handle it.

And,

I'm sure we will get into a better stage after sometimes,

After I have my own's feeling well balanced.

I seriously don't like how I feel right now.

Don't like the internal part that makes me feel this way.

It shouldn't exist.

I'm just so gonna get this thing out of me.

It's time to grow up, lil girl.

I never thought that the post will look like this after the celebration.

It's freaking weird. Lol

莫名奇妙

I don't feel good.
Having mood swing.
Out of sudden,
For nothing.

It's been been a while since the previous time I had this kind of feeling.
Just don't feel like talking,
Don't feel like moving.
Don't feel like doing anything.
Even though I've lotsa works to do now.
It's like tons of them.
But I just don't feel like touching them.
I don't know where to start!
Ugh!
This feeling is killing meeeeeeee!

❤

Everything happen for a reason itself.

Well,
It's not really a good thing though.

But,
I guess both of us got something earned after this. :)

Desserts

It's kinda busy lately.
And,
Final is around the corner.
OMGOMGOMGOMG!

Final is the only thing that stressed me up.
Final means
emotional lost, unhealthy lifestyle, weight gaining, pimples.
Arghh.
Hate that shit, seriously.

National is one week after the final.
Another big wave.

I can handle that well,
I guess. :/

05181118

下了一下午的雨，
今晚的天空挺干净。
星星很多，
很亮。

而，
我在这片星空下做了一个重大的决定。
一个纠缠了一段时间的决定。

来得有一点快。
出乎我的意料。

我不知道以后会怎样，
可是，
在这一个时刻，
我相信这不会是错的决定。 ❤

:)

Just finished talking with Alvin Ang Diquiren.
He is still as ego as usual. Lol.

Seems like he is trying to get himself a new life.
All the best for your career.  :)

He makes me think of Jyen after talking with him.
He said it's a big loss for me to let go of a boy like Jyen.
Indeed.
He is the best guy I had ever met.
The way he treated me,
Make me feel like I'm his world..
I'm part of his life.
I thought I will never find myself a new boyfriend.
I believe there will be no one can treat me like how he does.
Never worry that he will be betraying me.
Never worry of him because of MIA.
Pampered me everytime when I was down.
Fulfilling every requirements of mine no matter how ridiculous it is.
Yes. I was his princess. Haha.

But,
Things are just too different right now.
Half year gone.
I'm still alive. Lol.
We were not keeping in touch as frequently as we thought.
Yea.
Feeling changed.
He is no longer the one who I thought of when I was in trouble.
He is no longer the person who can be able to let me to lean on when I need a shoulder.

But,
I will never forget about him.
A person who treat me so well for two years.
Seriously,
I never regret spending two years of my life with him.

Eight months passed in my university.
I realized I have grown up more than I expected.
I am no longer the little girl who cries on every single thing.
I had learnt to be independent.
Learnt to be tough.
Learnt to take care of myself.
After few months of emo-ing,
I am now more optimistic than I was.

As time goes by unknowingly,
Eye sight expanded.
No pain, no gain.
It's kinda true.
Walked out from the pain and I'm tougher than I was.

After seeing boys coming and going around,
I found out promises are just too abstract.
I don't know how long will it takes to get myself into a new relationship.
And never think about how long can it last.
But what I have now is really out of my expectation.  :)

For Debra

Rolling on the bed,
And I really couldn't sleep.

And now I realized I couldn't find myself someone to talk to.

Deb,
I really miss you so damn much.
Cepat balik from Switzerland please.

I need your hug.
I need you to stop me from crying right now.
I need you babe.  :'(

To the annoying lil brother of mine

Yo YiLioJun.
It's been awhile I didn't mention you in my blog.
How are you?
I miss you dy lerh.
I want friessssssss!
Partying, partying, YEAH!

Know what,
You made me think of you when my phone got snatched.
We got our new phone on kinda close date.
And we our phone got robbed on kinda close date too.
Awww!
How sweet! Hahaha!

Anyway,
Didn't see you for quite long dy.
Take great care of yourself kie?
But,
Super great care of my instax camera please.
Cause I'm really broke now.
I have to start to do my saving for new phone.
If,
You spoil my instax and I'm gonna broke your MacBook into pieces.
I guess i meant ASHHHHHHH!

Remember to update me all your 后宫 when I'm back.
See yea! ❤

:'(

Tomorrow is 511.
Seriously,
I wanna go so so so much!

But my leg is getting serious.
It's swelling.
It's so freaking pain until I can't step it on the floor.
I can only drag it while walking.
I look exactly like an OKU now.
How?!

I wanna goooooooo!!! :'(

:D

Yo readers!
我很好。
不要担心我。
其实我自己也有一点惊讶，
我竟然可以复原得那么快。

没有生气，
没有伤心，
只是很心痛，舍不得我的电话和里面的照片。

我知道，
失去了就是失去了。
我也不能够做什么。

失去了电话，
努力存一存钱就可以买一架新的了。
而，
这件事情发生过后，
我所得到的是买不到的，
那些关怀。
我发现，
真的有很多人其实很关心我。
谢谢你们。
哪怕只是一个简单的问候，
都令我的心情大好！

至于那个抢匪，
说真的，
我没有生气他。
我自己也没有办法理解为什么。
我相信没有人愿意当抢匪。
没有人愿意靠这种方式过生活。
他所面对的困境或许是我们没有办法想象的。
也许就是这一架电话，
可以为他的生活，
做一些改变。
也许这一架电话，
可以帮助一些真正需要钱却走头无路的人。
为他祷告吧！

0509

So this is what I got after the incident.

I'm so sorry for making you people worry.
Especially mom and dad.
I'm the person to blame.
I find it incredible when I'm not angry at the robber at all.
Maybe he really need some urgent money.

Dear readers,
Please be careful.
Especially in a small town like this.
Do not use your phone while standing at the roadside.
You're actually tempting people to rob you.

Thank you those Malay girls who helped me after the incident.
And some Malay guy who volunteer themselves to take me to the police station.
Thanks Danny for concerning.
The YAB boy and the couple who lend me their phones.

Qing Xing who rushed into campus from kachi just to make sure I'm ok.
Hey,
I doesn't meant to chase you back.
But,
I worry I'll take quite a long time and you can't get yourself back to kachi.

Sean,
Thanks for fetching me to the town again.
And sorry for troubling.

Something better is prepared by God when something is taken away.
Bye Note 2.

I might not be able to get back my phone number so soon.
Contact me through Facebook kie?
It seems to be the only way for this moment.

Seasons in the memory

It's 2.20am now.
And I just got onto my bed.
It's super tired today!

Guess what?
I just had my performance done!
It's an awesome one.
I was so freaking nervous before the performance.
And the postponing of the program is killing me.

But,
I enjoyed myself very much once I got onto the stage.
I thought I can never smile, I thought I'll be freaking nervous until making mistakes.
But the awesome fact is I smile like nobody's business.
And I'm not nervous AT ALL.
Maybe it's because I really can't see the audiences down there.
They're all dark.
And they are less than I expected.
LOL.

It's superb when we did such a great result after two months of practicing.
We are great!
All of us who involved in the event are AWESOME!

Justice?

I never thought I will cry for my country.

This election makes me feel that we are all Malaysian.

Working up together for the same goal.

Looking forward for a change.

But,

After looking at the result,

I realized that the reality is not as simple as we thought.

All of the hard works had turned into bubble. 

It is not strong enough to fight with the dirty tricks.

黑

我今年二十一岁。
今天二十岁。
所以，
我不能投票。
就是那么短短几个月。

起初，
我感到很遗憾。
我想为我住的小岛出一些力。
哪怕只是渺小的一张票。
可是现在，
我很庆幸，
庆幸自己没有那个机会投票。
因为如果我今天去投票了。
我现在应该不会只是流眼泪。

终于告一段落了。

心情从早上的不安，
到下午的紧张，
然后晚上的稳赢的信心，
一直到现在这一份跌落谷底的失望和无助。

没有了。
一切一切的希望和盼望，
就在电源回复的那一刹那，
被彻底的灭了。

我以为团结就是力量。
力量是有了，
可是还是抵不过他们污浊的手段。
贿赂人民，失败了。
不要紧。
有警察护送的幽灵选民。
失败了。
不要紧。
直接换票，补票。
所以，
赢了。
赢的就只有选举。
其他的都输了。

ubah

I'm not sure why.
But I've the strong feeling to blog now.

So,
I was having fun with the cousins at the karaoke.
Until we recieved call from daddy.
Asking us to go home earlier.
I know he is not going to sleep if we are not home.
So, we stopped singing one and a half hours before the section ends.
Anyway,
A few hours is fun enough for us to bond.
They're just way too lovely.

We used to meet up so much last time.
But,
We were separated now.
Studies, careers.
Yet,
We're still so close.
Like how we used to be.   :)

So,
Few more hours to go.
The election is finally here.
It's an election,
But it sounds more like a war.
People from different parties are fighting each other.
Outside seems so freaking dangerous now.

Today is the day.
Seriously,
We need to change.

No one knows how is the new government gonna be.
But it's obvious to see that the old government is rotting.

Ini kalilah,
Ubah.

Blueee

Hanged out for like ten hours today.
With the BFFs.

Didn't mix with them for the whole day.
Went pedicure, singing and dinner.
We only mixed together during dinner time.

It's kinda tired today.
And the traffic makes me feel like jumping out of the car.
We thought Queensbay gonna jam.
But,
It's not at all.
The town.
My goodness.
JAMMMMMMM!
Seems like everyone is heading to Esplanade.
The passion of the people towards DAP is so much bigger than those idols.
It's kinda surprise actually.
At least people nowadays are more passionate.
Looking forward for a change.
Instead of getting threatening by the lousy government.
But keep complaining,
Without taking any action.

I used to be ignorant about politics.
It doesn't seems interesting to me.
Lies, frauds, moneys, reputation..
All of these are politics.
None of them good.
So I rather ignore them.

But,
The 'I wish I can do something' feeling is here,
When I was back into my lovely island.
Seeing blue flags everywhere.
The whole island is so political.
I seriously have no idea what the hell is the reason of those lunatics putting so many flags all around.
It's really exaggerating!
My lovely island changed.  :'(
It's not beautiful anymore.

So,
The election is getting near.
Dad warned me,
In a really serious way,
Asking me not to go out this Sunday and Monday.
I've no idea what shit gonna happen on the coming days.
None of us has.
I am just hoping that this thing can end real fast.
I hate to see those flags!

03/05

我以为我的心很坚定，
可是，
好像动摇了

Yes or No

I'm back in Penang for like a few days.
Was kinda busy these few days.
Hanging out. And slacking at home. LOL.

However,
Something just happened today.
I can't deny it.
Today's a wonderful day.
I feel blessed.

But,
I felt kinda stress when I was needed to make decision.
It's a MUST. I know.
Maybe like what was said,
Make it without thinking too much, before our mind make it complicated.
But I just can't help it.
My mind keep rolling in things.
Arghh.
Boom!

Speechless

Just done chatting with XinJing.
Guess what,
Mr.A removed her from his friend list.
What?!

Yea.
Ridiculous.